I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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