im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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