They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
