If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
