I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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