I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
