let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
