My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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