Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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