So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
