he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
