flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
