I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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