Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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