His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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