we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
