I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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