I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
