Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
