dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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