Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
