bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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