No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
