Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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