awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
