Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize