I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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