all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
