Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
try to milk me bitch
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