I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
