Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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