I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize