I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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