I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
