I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
