Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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