I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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