i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
