At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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