Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
