you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
