Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
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