Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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