help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
A+ Viking dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
