so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
