i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
