saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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