Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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