How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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