Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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