oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
