im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
