On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
