Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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