? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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