i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
