I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
