you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He better not be in your backpack
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
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Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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