we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
