I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
