is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
