I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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