dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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